This morning I received a gift.

With the morning light not yet visible, I lie awake in the still of the night darkness. My strong one had just left for work and so I started my day like all others. I closed my eyes and began talking to God.

After a few minutes, something caused me to open my eyes and … what I saw was beautiful.

The bedroom door slightly cracked open had allowed a soft beam of light from the hallway to filter in through the crack. This soft ray of light illuminated a photo on my wall, and only this photo.

On one wall in my bedroom there are two photos – one each of me and my girls when they were three months old. Often times when I look at photos – my heart skips in rhythmic pain and I wonder how I could have gotten from ‘then’ to ‘now’,  from ‘there’ to ‘here’. These two photos make my heart more than just skip.

As this soft ray of light filtered in, all I could see was my baby girl and me and that moment in time from years ago. I almost instantly looked away, but instead I let my eyes linger.

This morning I received a gift.

As a parent, I always know where my children are and I can visualize what their surroundings look like. This has been one of the hardest things for me to push through since my girl baby girl passed away – the unknown of her surroundings. I do have the assurance based on Truth that she is safe in the arms of Jesus! Yet sometimes my mind races with the unfamiliar because, all I can do is imagine. It’s my humanness that can’t accurately visualize the true beauty and wonders of Heaven. My head and my heart know, but it’s a marvelous mystery waiting to be discovered.  Sometimes my momma eyes just long to see.

One of the most comforting things I hold on to are the little reminders that my baby girl is still here with me. Some people call these little signs God winks. These little reminders are what comfort me, help me see and bring me some assurance for all that is unknown. And yet still – there are times when I simply need a big sign! Like a ‘writing-in-the-sky’ big kind of sign. So, yesterday morning I asked God for a big sign.

This morning I received a gift.

This answer to my prayer reminded me that in the midst of this dark world, my baby girl is still a light! God used ‘the light’ from the hall to remind me just how much she shines! Her beauty and life continue to illuminate and impact others. Just as her presence is always filtering into the depths of my aching soul and lighting up my life! And, in this photo on my wall – my hand is gently cupping hers. This gift reminded me that her hand is reaching down to hold mine still.

After my eyes lingered awhile my mind shifted to how much this dark world needs Light. Many people live in the stillness of the night and long for a small door to be cracked open. My heart longs for others to know that the Light is here waiting to illuminate their life. Maybe it’s you my heart longs for?

My prayer right now is that you allow your eyes to linger awhile.