In my last blog post New Beginnings, I talked about how I was going to take with me all that is beautiful, all that is precious from 2013. Leave the rest behind.

Let me tell you, it does take some effort. It requires me to consciously make the choice to find joy and to be able to see the beauty and blessings each day.  Some days are harder than others.  Actually, it can even be a minute by minute choice. That’s just it though, a choice!!  I.have.a.choice.!  Me! It’s my decision! And what I’ve chosen is for my heart, a heart that is filled with holes, to look beyond the holes, to feel beyond the holes. If I didn’t make the choice, then these holes would take over and get bigger. So the way I see it, I have two choices. Suffocate myself with each breath I breathe, or live each moment in joy for all that I’m blessed with.

As I sit here, in the quietness of my empty house, I can hear only the furnace running as it pumps heat the through the ducts and out through the registers. My heart is filled with thankfulness because I am warm. I have a roof over my head, heat pouring out, and I am warm. There’s also a sink full of dirty dishes and looking at them makes me thankful for the meals that were served on them. Thankful that I don’t have to worry about if and when I will have the opportunity to eat again. I have made a choice today for my heart to recognize thankfulness.

Each morning my husband gets up and goes to work. Without fail. Without complaining. Without hesitation. He gets up each morning whether it’s cold or raining, or whether or not he slept well and is tired. Without prompting he gets up. My heart is full of such gratitude because he works so hard to provide for our family. He puts the needs of his family before his own. I have made a choice today for my heart to be filled with gratitude.
  
The room I’m sitting right now in is filled with pictures of my children. Pictures that tell stories. Pictures that represent milestones. Pictures of toothless grins and baby fat cheeks. Pictures that say ‘love’. My heart feels such joy! Joy in the blessing of being their mom. Joy for the happiness my children bring to my world each day. Joy for each laugh, each hug, each snuggle. I have made a choice today for my heart to feel joy.


Looking out my back window yesterday I captured such a beautiful sight! The sun was just about to fully set. I couldn’t help but look at this beautiful sight and be in awe of the beauty before me. As I looked out at God’s masterpiece across the sky I could feel His presence. My heart was instantly filled with hope. Hope and reassurance in knowing that He is all around. He is here with me and will never leave me, nor forsake me (adapted from Deuteronomy 31:6). What a promise! What a beautiful promise. I have made the choice for my heart to feel hope.
 
There’s a peace in my heart that I can’t explain. Maybe I’m not supposed to fully understand it? Perhaps it’s simply having faith in knowing where it comes from! Imagine that? Peace in knowing that the One who holds me will always hold me in the palm of His hand. Peace in knowing that He is stronger than any burden I face. Peace in knowing He loves me and will always love me. Peace in knowing He has a plan. I have chosen for my heart to feel peace.

There’s a reason I’m sharing ‘my heart’ with you. Today, my daughter has an brain MRI to see if there are any signs of the cancer tumor . These days are always hard. The waiting, the hoping for good results. It’s like holding your breath each time the phone rings and you aren’t sure if you really want to answer it kind of days! This week is especially hard because we start another chemo round also. Double hard!!  Double whammy to the emotions!  I am thankful that God has given me grace to face each day. Grace for when I stumble and need reminding of all the beauty and blessings. Grace for the times I close my eyes and hope that when I open them my world will be different. Grace in knowing I am human and my human heart will fail. Grace in knowing that when I fall He will catch me. Where would we be without grace?

I have only shared with you a few things of what my heart feels. There’s definitely more of ‘my heart’. In spite of all my heart aches for, my heart truly does feel thankfulness, gratitude, joy, hope and peace. I really have made the choice to see the beauty and find the blessings. My heart is full…even if it has holes!

I want to encourage you to seek beauty and blessings in your life in spite of what perhaps makes your heart ache. My prayer is that you will make the choice to also be thankful, have gratitude, find joy, feel hope and peace.

Psalm 73:26 My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.

Please share your heart with me ❤. I’d love to hear from you.

Blessings!