I witnessed something not too long ago that has taken me on a journey.

A journey that has pointed me to Truth and opened my heart to a new outlook.

This journey started with an ordinary day filled with my normal busy things. On my list was a quick dash to pick up some groceries. I scurried through the store trying to fill my hand held basket as quickly as I could. All the while my thoughts kept shifting to what I needed to do when I got home. No time to waste, just get from point A to point B without seeing much else.

But what happened on my way out of that parking lot stopped me right in my tracks.

An elderly man sat at the edge of the parking lot on his motorized scooter. He looked like a seasoned ‘rider’ and his scooter well broken in. His white socks adorned by black patten leather shoes, plaid shirt and suspenders reminded of my granddaddy. Papaw as we used to call him. I think there must be a dress code when you reach a certain age that every Papaw follows? He looked sweet and made my heart skip a beat.

The sun illuminated the entire parking lot, but this man managed to find that single-tiny patch of shade near the edge of a landscaped area. This shaded area was just his size causing him to nestle in tight to be covered making his presence hard to spot. He sat there under that tree looking rather peaceful it seemed as he watched the traffic before him. I began to make up a story in my head that he probably does this often? Go for a ‘walk’, find some shade and pull off for a rest.  ‘Oh how precious’ I thought and smiled inside at the little story I was concocting in my head.

My thoughts then quickly jumped and this story in my head took a turn … ‘he’s watching life pass by’! Oh goodness, he’s counting cars – how many white ones verses blue ones! He’s watching for big trucks, little trucks, motorcycles, people talking on cell phones, babies in carseats, beeping horns.  Watching it all just pass by.

It was like a sucker punch in my gut.

Was that what this elderly man was doing?

Is this what I am doing?

Am I just ‘sitting’ and watching life pass by?

Tears welled up in my eyes over a reality I had never felt before. Then as God so creatively does … He started me on this journey.

A real self look into my own life.

I began to dig deep and ask myself some tough questions. So often I describe myself as ‘treading water’, ‘marching in place’. I am moving, but don’t really feel I am going anywhere. Just ‘marking time’.

I’m not sure that I have always felt this way? Busy yes, but not the treading water, marching in place concept. Since grief has grabbed hold of my heart, life feels almost stationary like. As if time sort of stopped in that moment when my world was altered. A rhythm all it’s own.

A rhythm that stays on repeat, marking time.

That sucker punch in the gut told me that watching life pass by isn’t what God has in mind for me. It’s not the plan He designed for any of us! Marking time, treading water, marching in place – none of these theories come from God.

My new found journey had me asking what it is that God does want for me? What is His plan for my life? It’s not a new question for me as I often wonder and frequently ask Him, but this time the seeking felt different.

The bible says ‘seek and you shall find’ (Luke 11:9). I am committed to continue searching because I am certain God doesn’t want me to simply live a life that counts how many white cars versus the number of blue ones pass by. Or how many trucks, bikes and motorcycles can be spotted in an hour.

Life isn’t meant to pass by.

So, I will try the best I know how to live they way God intended for me. I want to gather up some of the broken pieces of my heart and start swimming instead of treading water. I want to walk instead of marching in place and find a new rhythm that doesn’t just mark time.

Will you join me and shed what ever may be weighing you down and walk with me? Let’s take in the sights, smell the flowers, allow the breeze to mess up our hair! Let’s watch the sun rise and set with fresh eyes. Eyes that want to be in the vehicle waving as we drive through town, and not eyes that watch from the edge of the parking lot.

Precious Giver of Life, You designed me to live and not watch life pass by. Create in me a clean heart and a renew a right spirt within me (Psalm 51:10). Allow my eyes to see the beauty and fill me with wonder and joy.