There are some moments that sting more than others. Watching my husband grieve is hard. Men are designed to be strong and along with that comes their desire to ward off anything that comes in harms way of those they love. Including grief. With all eyes constantly on him, his own pain is often held in. While he holds each of us, our protector and rock, his own pain sometimes stays hidden under the surface.
We sat on the ground around our girls’ grave. The five of us, making a circle, with the sixth one completing it. The six of us, bonded together by the strong hold of our family and by the gift of God’s infinite love. Bonded together by a love so deep that even death cannot separate. Sitting there in silence as we held back the tears. Oh, but our silence spoke volume! Each of us knowing what the other was saying. Five hearts beating to the same rhythm of pain. Five hearts holding on to each other as we sat around our girls’ grave and honored our protector this Father’s Day. Together, this unit of six.
Our strong one couldn’t hold back the deep pain that filled his heart any longer. He quietly moved away to gain composure as the tears began to fall. I prayed for his aching heart and for God’s tender arms to hold him close.
Then the oldest one began to strum on his guitar. Praises to our God filled the air and broke the silence that fell between us. With each stroke to the strings on the guitar, his heart began to let go of some of the piercing pain that was taking over his young heart. With the jagged lump still remaining in our throats, we sang silently to ourselves. Yes Lord, we still praise You in the midst of our pain! The lyrics began to penetrate their way into the depths of my aching soul. 10,000 Reasons. Yes, yes of course, 10,000 Reasons for my heart to sing!
The sky was filled with cloud upon cloud. No room for sunshine to peak in and not a spec of blue sky in sight. Then, the clouds parted just enough for the bright shining sun to make its much needed appearance. Only for a few seconds, but that’s all it took. I heard her gently say “I’m here, I’m right here”. Then the clouds filled up that hole and the sun swiftly disappeared again. 10,000 Reasons for my heart to sing!
It’s time to sing Your song again
Whatever may pass, and whatever lies before me
Let me be singing when the evening comes
My precious, precious child,
With the progression of the day, the stress on our aching hearts also progressed. Our strong one went for a run to clear his mind. He found a single daisy along the path that held his aching heart. A single daisy with more meaning than words can express! He whispered the words “our girl went running with me” as he pulled out of his pocket a treasure and a beautiful reminder of God’s unfailing love. 10,000 Reasons for my heart to sing!
Laying next to our strong one in the stillness of the night, I could hear his heavy breathing after he closed his eyes and found rest. I gave thanks for his protection over all of us, our unit of six, and prayed myself to sleep.
God etched His way into our aching hearts this Father’s Day and gave us 10,000 Reasons to sing. He opened our hearts to see our girl in more ways than one, and to feel her close as we wept in sadness. He gave us reason to sing, no matter what my pass and what may lie ahead. For all His goodness…we worship His holy name.
Bless the Lord, Oh my soul
Oh my soul
Worship His holy name
Sing like never before
Oh my soul
I’ll worship Your holy name
The sun comes up, it’s a new day dawning
It’s time to sing Your song again
Whatever may pass, and whatever lies before me
Let me be singing when the evening comes
Bless the Lord, Oh my soul
Oh my soul
Worship His holy name
Sing like never before
Oh my soul
I’ll worship Your holy name
You’re rich in love, and You’re slow to anger
Your name is great, and Your heart is kind
For all Your goodness I will keep on singing
Ten thousand reasons for my heart to find
Bless the Lord, Oh my soul
Oh my soul
Worship His holy name
Sing like never before
Oh my soul
I’ll worship Your holy name
Bless You Lord
And on that day when my strength is failing
The end draws near and my time has come
Still my soul will sing Your praise unending,
Ten thousand years and then forevermore
Bless the Lord, Oh my soul
Oh my soul
Worship His holy name
Sing like never before
Oh my soul
I’ll worship Your holy name
Yes, I will worship Your holy name Lord
Song and lyrics by Matt Redman – 10,000 Reasons
Yes, I’ll worship Your holy name! Ten thousand years and forevermore…
Heavenly Father, Thank you for carrying us through the trial and sufferings and for always giving us 10,000 Reasons for our heart to sing! ~ Amen
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